Looking back at 2016

Hey Everyone,

It has been a while since I have blogged but as it is now a new year I have took this opportunity to recap on 2016.

I started 2016 with me being on dialysis waiting for a transplant which we had got the date for 12th April 2016, I started it positively but was also petrified for the following months, especially when it got closer and closer to the transplant date.
My transplant was carried out in the April, and I must admit it was the most painful and hard experience of my journey so far. You can never imagine the amount of pain or the emotional strain you go through when going through such a massive operation. It was hard, even harder seeing my mother in pain to give me a second chance of life. I am forever grateful for the gift she has given me and I still count my lucky stars for mum because if it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t be writing this blog now.

The recovery process was painful and long and it really did take a lot out of me and mum. The whole family in fact. The little things like walking, getting out of bed, laying down become massive tasks, and painful ones at that but day by day it got better and better.

The following months were me and mum recovering slowly but we got there.

I had a relationship break up in July, it was hard at the time but eventually you get over it and move on. Time is always the biggest healer.

The following months I started building my social life, going out with old and new friends and trying to rebuild confidence and independence that I had lost through the year of being ill and recovering.

I started seeing my new girlfriend Kayleigh in August. We had known of each other for around 2/3 years, but had only started talking again around May time. We had always had a flirty friendship. Meeting her in August we realised there was something there and our relationship blossomed. We went on some amazing adventures. Colchester Zoo, Clacton, Thorpe Park, Brighton and went to a music festival called Sundown. The last couple months we have been through a rocky part of our relationship. There is no doubt that we love each other. I am glad to be starting 2017 with her by my side. I can’t wait to have a fresh year and journey with her. We have so many more spontaneous adventures to go on.

I have not gone through my year month by month but just the main parts of what happened in 2016.

I will be writing a new blog on my new years resolutions and what I have planned for 2017.

It is a New Year – Saturday 2nd January 2016

Hey Everyone,

I wrote a status on facebook earlier and the purpose of this blog is to elaborate on that status.

Like many people every year I usually make up a New Years resolution that I normally fail to stick to, and this year I haven’t made any. However, I have given myself 10 key points to remember, to take into action and see if it makes me a better person. I may add to these 10 key points later on.
I will state my point and elaborate a little more into the point with my own views and comments.

1. Stay clear of negative people, negative surroundings and negative feelings.
I have learnt that negativity only brings me down and I can’t let unnecessary negativity into my life any more. Stripping out the negativity is a great feeling and although sometimes hard to do it is pretty beneficial in the end. Learn by it.

2. Always make a positive out of a negative, whatever this may be.
You can always make a positive out of a negative. This kind of attitude has kept me afloat. CKD was a massive knock for me, a negative one but I changed it into a more positive by allowing myself to gain knowledge and help others with advice and the creation of my support groups. As someone who suffers with many other negative issues I have made most of these positives by creating support groups. I love to help people where and when I can.

3. Never give up, even if I get knocked down I will simply get back up, dust myself off and continue.
Throughout my life I have been knocked down but instead of dwelling I just simply add it to my long list of mistakes, and lessons. Life is all about learning and that is simply what I do if I get knocked. You have to get back up and continue your journey, after all you only get one life, its best to make the most of what you have instead of what you don’t have.

4. Appreciate those dear friends and family members and supporters that I do have.
Although I only have a small amount of close friends now, I like to keep it that way because I can easily appreciate those who have stuck by me through the bad times. I appreciate those I do have instead of being sad because I have lost others, others that really couldn’t care less about my whereabouts.

5. Try to motivate myself more.
I have no motivation to be honest, it kind of went out of the window when I became unwell and lost all my energy and enthusiasm. I know this is something I struggle with but I want to try and motivate myself a little more.

6. Try to keep as healthy as I can, and take better care of myself.
I have a small appetite due to being unwell and feeling bloated with 2 litres  of fluid, but the food I do consume I want to try and make sure it is healthy, however I will treat myself now and again after all a treat here and there is sometimes much more better and rewarding than a treat every day. I need to make sure I look into my patient view more and keep tabs on my blood results.

7. Look at my surroundings, take in every detail.
Our surroundings when being paid attention to and admired can be beautiful. I want to pay more attention on the things that we all take forgranted. For example I went to the Beach with my Family to look at all the Seals and I looked around, I listened to the waves, looked at the beautiful blue sky shining on the seals that had just come out of the sea and how it glistened on their skin. I looked at the tiny babies along side their parents who were protecting their young. We do live in such a lovely place, and the surroundings can actually be pretty breath taking, after all this world was meant to be admired. As someone who suffers with anxiety doing such little differences made massive changes, it made me feel calm and at peace, it was a lovely feeling.

8. Remember that there are people who have lost their lives but have been not only inspirational but a hero with donating their organs to those who are in need of transplants. Also those who have gone through with Live Donation.
Before being diagnosed I wouldn’t of put this which is actually sad but a true fact. Unless you are close to such circumstance then it isn’t something that your every day person would think about. However, I wish people would pay a little more attention to those who are no longer with us but due to their inspiration decision to be an organ donor they have gone on to save several peoples lives. I mean how precious and amazing is that? It is these people who save several people from the same misfortune. Not forgetting those who donate their bodies to Science to help improve medicines and understanding. True heroes. Not forgetting those wonderful people who go on to be a live donor, losing something of theirs to give to someone else to maximize their chance of life, risking their own. I mean wow, what a person and again a definition of a hero.

9. Remember that at the end of every storm, there will eventually be a rainbow no matter how short or long.
I know in life there are some stormy times no matter how rough the storm eventually there will be a rainbow. I know my life is going to be somewhat stormy throughout but there will be good times, I hold on to hope as I think most things are very possible but sometimes things take a little longer than others, but that is okay because it would be such an amazing reward to eventually come out of a storm and be faced with a beautiful rainbow.

10. Don’t let my illness define me, take over me or identify me. Kidney Disease is only apart of me but it isn’t who I am.
I know of people who have let their illness take over their identification and I am not that kind of person. Unfortunately I do have this awful disease and yes it at the moment it takes up a massive part of my life and will always be apart of my life but I refuse for it to take over who I am. I am not my illness, my illness is simply just apart of who I am but it isn’t who I am. I want people to remember me for the person I am not the girl who had Kidney Failure, because there is so much more to me than this disease.

So, there you have it. My New Years Resolution is in fact just points to improve myself and my wellbeing and grow me as a person. My journey has only just began. It is a new year, a new journey is just beginning.